I'll Be Home For Christmas

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Pairings: Buffy/Spike

Warnings: NC-17 (Sexual Situations)

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Spike or any of the other characters from BtVS. I just like to get them naked and roll them around in a bed ... or on a tomb ... under the table ... in the shower ... Um, you get the idea.

Feedback? Please, please, with chocolate and Spike on top!

Spike stopped the DeSoto on the edge of town looking at the now replaced Welcome to Sunnydale sign that he flattened when leaving six months ago. “Persistent buggers, gotta give’em that.” He thought, as he put the car in reverse for a good fifty yards, floored it, and returned the sign to its previously flattened state before continuing at normal speed to the small house on Revello Drive.

The six months he had been away from Buffy were the longest of his unlife. He knew he was right to go, to give them both a break from the destructive habits that they had fallen into after Buffy returned from the dead. They had needed time to think things over and decide where to go from there. He went only as far as Los Angeles; far enough to give them space, but close enough that he could get back quickly if he was needed.

There had been no contact between them during the last six months, but he had spoken with the Nibblet a couple of times, just to check in. Last week when he had called, Buffy had answered the phone. She had told him she had had enough time, that she missed him, that she had made her decision, and that if he was ready, would he please come home. That she had given him a choice, asked instead of insisted, told Spike just how much she had changed. He was ready to go home, he knew he loved her and wanted to try to build something that would last. He had only been waiting for her to ask.

So here he was on Christmas Eve, pulling up to the house that he hoped would become a home for him, for Buffy, and for Dawn. He hadn’t told her he was going to come, just left her with a vague, “I’ll think ‘bout it.” She hadn’t whined, or cried, or pushed. She had just told him that she hoped he would, and then she let him talk to Dawn. He killed the engine a few houses down, and coasted to a stop at the curb, so as not to alert them he was there. He got out, settling his duster more comfortably on his shoulders, grabbing his kit, and a large sack full of presents. Lastly, he pulled a somewhat crumpled Santa’s hat out of his duster pocket, and pulled it firmly on his head, smirking in amusement.

The house was completely dark, and as he approached the front, he veered off and easily scaled the tree outside Buffy’s window. The window, as usual, was raised a couple of inches letting in the cool night air, the radio that she always played at night, was softly playing a Christmas song. He eased his packages over the sill, and quickly followed, landing silently on the floor. He caught his breath at the first sight of his love in six months.

She lay on her side turned towards him, her head pillowed on her hands. The soft light spilling from the hallway enveloped her in a golden glow. She sighed and shifted in her sleep, causing the soft white cotton sheet to slide down low on her hip. She looked so sweet and beautiful in her unadorned cotton shift that he gasped in an unneeded breath.

He toed his boots off and on bare feet; shut the bedroom door. His duster was deposited on the chair beside the bed, the small package from its pocket safely enclosed in his hand. He quickly stripped off his shirt and jeans, and slid into bed with his love, spooning against her back, tucking the little gift under the pillow. He buried his face in her fall of gold hair and breathed deeply of her scent, his body shuddered as the familiar vanilla enveloped him. Home. That was what she was, and he had been so far away from home all of these months. His body pulsed with arousal and he shifted his hips away from her. This wasn’t about sex. He didn’t want her to think that it was. He couldn’t help his body’s reaction, but he could keep it from her.

She made a soft noise and snuggled deeper into his arms, her own coming up to embrace his and she laced their fingers together, stirring, starting to awaken.

“Luv?” he said softly, nudging her hair aside and pressing a small kiss to her neck. “C’mon, pet, I need to see those beautiful eyes.”

She stirred once more, and let out a small sob, thinking she was dreaming of him again. It had been a week since she had asked him to come home and he hadn’t called this week at all. She was so afraid that she had messed everything up. That he didn’t want to be with her anymore, that he didn’t love her. Another cry passed her lips at the thought, tears leaking out from under closed lids. “Spike, please, I love you, come home soon.”

His heart broke and reknit at her cries and declaration of love; his azure blue eyes filled. He turned her over in his arms, pressing her tight to his chest, and licked the salty moisture from her cheeks. “Luv, wake up, I’m here. Your Spike’s here.” He pleaded roughly for her to open her eyes and see him.

Her eyelashes fluttered once, twice. “There’s my girl, let me see those glittering eyes.” He continued to croon. Her eyes opened slowly and focused in the dim moonlight on his, soft hazel, to ocean blue.

“Spike?” She suddenly pushed up out of his arms to sit, dragging him with her. She cupped his face in her hands and ran her thumbs over the planes of his cheeks. “Oh, God, it is you, you’re real!” The words spilled from her lips in a flood. “I thought I was dreaming again! Oh God, you’re here! You came home!” This last was said against his neck as her arms came up to catch him in a hug. Her sweet mouth pressed desperate kisses against his throat, sliding up nibbling his jaw, licking along his sharp cheekbone, before gently taking his lips. She explored his mouth slowly, sucking on his full lower lip, dipping her tongue inside to slide against his, and rubbing the tip against his palette.

He moaned into her mouth, his arms coming up to crush her against his chest as his tongue clashed with hers, returning the pleasure. His grip tightened as his fingers tangled into her hair, holding her in place for him to ravage her mouth. His passion was suddenly urgent, he was about to loose control, and for a moment didn’t care. It had been so long since he had had her, too many nights spent with only his hand for release.

She gasped as she broke away from his mouth, gulping in air, bringing him back to himself a little. Her hands never stopped touching him, even as her chest continued to suck in desperately needed oxygen. “Oh,” she said raggedly. “You’re naked…” her hands stroked over his chest, nails raking lightly over hard little nipples. He gasped and she grinned, eyes full of power as she did it again. She slid clever hands down under the sheet, stopping when she found the cotton of his boxers instead of the satin skin she had been expecting. She cupped him lightly through the material, and mewed in disappointment, glancing up, “You’re not naked here,” She began, tugging on the offending material, “but we can easily fix that…”

His head was thrown back; eyes squeezed shut tight, as he tried to regain control of his body. His arousal was painful, but it wasn’t time for this now, however, he was as helpless, as always, when she touched him. He grabbed for hands, just as she was tugging his underwear down his hips. “No, luv, stop…” His eyes focused on hers, letting her see he was serious. “I didn’t come here for this.” He chuckled at the look of surprise on her now slack face. He pulled her up so that she sat astride his lap. “Ok, well that’s not exactly true,” His eyes glittered mischievously, “I was hoping we would eventually get to this.” He ground his erection into her mound, making her groan and press back. He hissed in a breath, and carefully set her beside him on the bed, holding her hands in his. “We need to talk a bit first.”

She nodded her head slowly and settled down, it just felt so good to touch him. Her thumb idly traced over his palm where he held her hands. She stared at him for a long moment, drinking in the sight of him, trying to see if there were any changes. He looked thinner, cheekbones more prominent. His eyes looked older, as if their separation had been a lot longer than six months. She figured hers did too. In fact, she knew they did, she saw it reflected in them every time she looked in the mirror. She also knew that she had lost weight as well.

She knew that he had needed to leave, knew that they were killing each other. They had both been so needy. Her, to feel anything after Willow and the others had brought her back from Heaven. Him, to have someone love him with the intensity in which he loved. She had always made a point of calling him an evil soulless thing, but he hadn’t been. Even though he didn’t have a soul, he had more emotions, love, inside of him then she had ever had. It had scared her that she had recognized this about him, about herself, and so she had taken it out on him, even as she had taken him into her body, and fucked him into the ground. She had loved him in the only way she knew how, with pain.

As for his love, she had also known that he did truly love her, but she didn’t feel like she could accept it. Everyone she had ever loved had left her, her dad, Angel, Riley, her mom. So she had hardened her heart against love, refused to see it, believe it. It was easier to tell him he wasn’t capable of love, to beat him down, to fuck him until they were both blind, and she had until she had broken both of them.

That it had taken them so long to realize what they were doing to each other, to understand that they were, each in their own way, killing the other was an epiphany. That the epiphany had to happen while they had lain bruised and bloody on her bathroom floor, was sad. So, they had agreed he would go.

He gently rubbed her face, pulling her from her thoughts. She was surprised to feel that her face was wet; she hadn’t known she had been crying. She looked up at him, and traced the tears tracking his cheek. He had been as lost in the memories as she had.

“Let me go first, k?” She asked, and he nodded in agreement. “All these months away from you, have given me a lot of time to think.” She took his hand again. “I know, have always known, that you did really love me. I used your love for me to feel alive again. But I wasn’t really alive, only just for those moments when you were inside of me, or when my fist caused you to bleed.”

She looked down ashamed, gathered her thoughts. “I was so full of hate and anger that they had brought me back. There wasn’t room for anything else. You were always there. From that first night, your eyes so full of love.”

She looked at him then, seeing the shock on his face. “Yes, I recognized it for love. I was so scared and confused that I reached out to it, to you. I thought that you could help me be alive again. For a while you did, I let your love for me bring me back, but when I was fully back, the anger and hate took over. I took your love and twisted it into something ugly, used you to get back at them. It was easier to abuse you then to let them know I how I felt, to get past the anger and truly live again.”

She stopped and leaned over to gently wipe his tear-stained face. They were both crying again. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’ve used this time apart wisely. I saw a counselor that Giles recommended. The hate and anger is gone. I’ve accepted that I’m back, that I’m alive. I’m truly ready to live again, and if you’ll forgive me, I want to live again with you.” She looked down shyly, and then back up hopefully, seeing his eyes shine with tears again. “I’m ready to accept your love, if you still love me. I’m ready to admit that…I love you.”

She was still looking into his eyes and saw the flash of heat, of love that was there for a moment, it gave her courage to continue. “I want us to have a real relationship, one that everyone knows about, one where I can cuddle with you on the couch and watch TV, one where I can hold your hand when we patrol at night, one where you sleep with me in this bed every night for as long as you want to be with me. So, do you? Still love me I mean? Do you want to be with me?”

Spike sat holding her hands, his mind racing, she was saying everything that he had dreamed she would all these months. She loved him. She wanted to tell her friends about them. Before she refused to let them know. She kept him and the things they did in the dark, where she said he belonged, and that she didn’t. But now…now she was looking anxious, and he realized she was waiting on him to respond to her questions.

It was his turn then. He took a deep unnecessary breath, and began. “Back then, I’d have done anything to hear you say that. What we had though, was wrong.”

Her face crumpled, and he hurried to get it all out. “I tried to force you to love me, by trying to be what you needed me to be. At first I thought that you needed me to be loving and caring, so I was, and you did need me. You leaned on me and let me help you. I thought I was in Heaven. You seemed to get better, and I thought now she’ll admit she loves me, but you didn’t. You became angry and cold, started beating me up, then kissing me senseless. So, I tried to keep up. Then you made me so mad, that I punched you back. Believe me I was as surprised as you when it didn’t hurt me. So we fought, and ended up shagging in that old house, everything went down hill from there.”

He paused to collect himself. “Buffy, the past six months away from you have been pure hell, but I wanted you to have time to think about things, about us. I was hoping that you would realize that we could have more if you would let yourself love me. I’ve never stopped loving you.” He forced her chin up so that he could look into her overflowing eyes.

“I love you, Buffy Summers. That’s never gonna change. So, yes I want to be with you, yes, I want to cuddle with you and watch TV, hold hands when we patrol, and sleep and make love with you in this bed, for as long as you will have me. It will have to be your decision, luv, because as far as I’m concerned I’ll never not want to be with you.” He wiped her tears gently away with his thumbs. Their mouths met and held in an achingly tender kiss. A kiss that said hello, I’ve missed you, and I love you. It was a kiss that held the promise of a lifetime of loving.

They pulled back and laughed in joy. Spike’s eyes twinkled as he suddenly pulled away from her and reached over the side of the bed. “Close your eyes for a minute, luv, gotcha a surprise.”

When she did as he asked, he quickly stood and pulled his boxers off and put the Santa hat back on. He looked down at himself, chuckling at this sight he must make, naked, dick hard, and wearing a Santa hat. Naughty, naughty…He slipped back into bed, striking a pose, leaning back, hands behind his head. “Okay, little girl, now tell ole Saint Nick what you want for Christmas this year.”

Buffy’s eyes flew open in surprise at his playful words; she had forgotten that it was Christmas Eve. She laughed again when she saw his hat. Her laughter quickly died as she heated up when realized this was all he wore.

She gave him a wicked smile and asked in her sweetest little girl voice, “Santa, can I sit on your lap and tell you?”

He flashed her a smirk, “Was kinda countin’ on it, luv.” Then it was his turn to goggle in surprise as she pulled off her gown with one quick move and straddled his lap again.

“Umm, Santa,” she said as she leaned in and kissed his mouth. She rubbed her hard nipples against his chest, sliding her wet slit against his cock. “All I want for Christmas is…” She thrust her tongue into his mouth at the same time she impaled herself on his erection. Both of them moaned at the sensation of being together again, completed, filled, and taken.

His hands guided her hips as she rode him slowly, sliding him almost all the way out of her tight, slippery hole, before taking him in to the root again. She broke the kiss when she needed to breathe, and sat up, the change in angle having them both groaning again. She gripped the iron of her headboard for leverage, and begin to ride him in earnest, gasping when he filled his hands with her breasts, cupping the mounds, and rubbing the berry hard nipples between his thumbs and fingers.

She threw her head back, moaned and swirled her hips lightly, grinding her clit against his pelvic bone with every down thrust. The little twist caused his cock to hit something inside her that he hadn’t hit before and she did it again and again. Out of control, she screamed his name as she came, clamping pulsing muscles around his dick.

He squeezed his eyes shut at the exquisite sensation, gritting his teeth with the effort not to follow her into completion. She came down from her orgasm, and rested against his chest, panting for breath.

“You didn’t…?” She questioned feeling him still hard and firm inside of her, igniting the flames again.

“Didn’ want to yet,” he groaned out, helplessly moving his hips against hers. “Santa’s gotta present for his sweet girl.”

She sat up again, causing her to moan as he pushed deeper, and him to hiss, his eyes flashing gold. He clamped his hands on her hips to keep her from moving again.

“I thought you all ready gave me my present.” She giggled, wiggling her hips against his.

“Luv, you’re gonna kill me, hold still.” He ground out, and as she did what he asked, he reached his hand under the pillow to pull out the present he had hid there.

He took her hand from his shoulder, and kissed it tenderly all hint of playfulness gone out of his eyes. He laid the small box in her hand and watched her, waiting.

Her eyes widened as she looked at the small box, and her hands shook as she opened it. She gasped, tears filling her hazel eyes once more as she took in the beautiful ring. “Is this…” she began, breaking off to look into his beautiful blue eyes.

He took the ring out and tossed the box away. He picked up her hand again, holding the ring poised, ready, if she said yes. Even the filtered light of the moon didn’t stop the small diamond from glittering brilliantly. “I realize that it may be too soon, but I’m hoping that you’ll take this now anyway. It’s a promise, Buffy. A promise that we will respect each other, be friends, be lovers, that we will make a family with the Nibblet, and that we will love one another until one or both of us are dust. If you don’t want to get married, if that would be too strange, its okay. But I want this as a physical representation of our love.”

The tears just wouldn’t stop tonight, she thought as they poured down her cheeks again. She pressed her finger against the edge of the ring, so that he slipped it on. She looked at the beautiful square cut diamond for a moment, and then into his iridescent eyes. “I want to get married to you, you aren’t going to get out of it that easily. It’s not strange at all. Well, okay, maybe it is, but not for us, or the Hellmouth.”

She grinned cheekily, and ground her hips against his, reminding him of where they left off, lightening the moment. “Besides, I still have that little bride and vampire groom cake topper that I bought when we were engaged before and now I can wear my beautiful skull ring again…”

She squealed and held on tight, as he growled and flipped them over driving his cock into her deep, his eyes locked on hers. She wrapped her legs around his hips, groaning at the feel of his hard body sliding against hers. Lifting his body from hers, he hooked her knees over his arms, opening her up, allowing him deeper access to her hot core. Flashes of gold warred within dark blue as he fought for control of his demon, his hips never stopping their driving rhythm. She brought her small hands up to caress the sharp angles of his face.

“It’s ok baby, I love all of you.” She said huskily, encouraging him to let go.

He growled and his face shifted, demon surging forward. “Please, Buffy,” he growled again, gold eyes flashing. “I need…”

She looked for a moment at the amber feral eyes, and tipped her head back, exposing her throat to her love. “Take what you need, baby.”

He stopped moving in shock, staring down at her through yellow eyes. Even after every incredible thing that had happened between them tonight, he still couldn’t believe that she was baring her throat for him.

He groaned and began to move in her again slowly. “I love you, Buffy. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” He lowered himself against her once more, and carefully kissed her mouth before slipping his cool tongue over that sweet pulsing point on her neck. He licked it gently, tasting her skin. She moaned at the tender lick, and tipped her head further, making the skin at her throat taunt. He seated his erection deep inside her and stilled, even as his fangs slid easily into her soft throat. His cock exploded with the first taste of her blood and all he could do was gulp her down and shudder as he came.

She gasped at the double penetration, cock and fangs and her orgasm rippled slowly through her body, milking him of his. After several long moments, he slipped his fangs from her and withdrew completely from her body, to spoon her once more. He gently licked the all ready closing marks, a purr rumbling from his chest.

She interlaced their fingers, taking a moment to admire the glitter of her ring in the pre-dawn light, knowing she would have to close the blinds in a minute.

She looked towards the window to see how much time before the sun would rise, and gasped in surprise. “Spike, look it’s snowing!”

He leaned up on an elbow, eyes widening slightly, before settling back down against her and tucking her in closer. “Shouldn’t be so surprised love, after all, Christmas is the time of miracles, and we’ve had more then our fair share of them tonight.”

She snuggled back in his arms, and sighed, knowing he was right, and grateful. “Merry Christmas, Spike.”

“Merry Christmas, love.” He said sleepily, dawn drawing him into slumber.

“Welcome home…” She said softly as she felt him drift off to sleep. “Welcome home my love.”

The End

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